3 Tips of Dealing with Toxic People (+Questions I reflect when I encounter them)

You are doing absolutely fine, shining like a wild flower, healthy and achieving the top with positivity…

BUT. Let’s admit, regardless of how great you are doing, some people around you could still bring negative mood or influence. It could be out of jealousy, or they are simply so INNOCENT to not aware the damage that they are doing for others – which I feel very sorry about their upbringing not giving them enough education on soft skills…

I notice negativity influence particularly during the period of my pregnancy. My friends said it could be due to the hormone, or more I feel like it is a natural instinct of motherhood wanting to protect the child I am bearing from anything carries bad energy which could somehow affect both myself and her.

Negative people could be anyone, someone from workplace, a stranger from an Instagram account you randomly scroll through or even someone you’ve known for awhile but not particularly close.

When we encounter these toxic mood, there is no doubt that the first thing it would affect is our mood.

Staying positive to protect yourself against toxic people

If toxic people are everywhere to influence people, what should we do? How can we do better to avoid them? The truth is we cannot change others. Instead of hiding from them, what we should do it changing our perspective to give them empathy, while politely turning away from them.

Here are 3 things I usually do to avoid the toxic influence getting to me.

Avoid instant response, aware of how “the energy” makes you feeling and gently denies it

One thing I learn is when we encounter bad comments or blaming, instantly responding with your emotion is always the worse idea. It would fire up the discussion, bring even more negativity because you are following the lead of these energy.

Instead, understand you do not need to accept everything that others are throwing to you, listen to it and analyze. Could it be a valid comment? Would you be able to do better next time? If I want to keep my own mood boosting, how should I react to achieve?

Once you are in control of your own response mechanism, things would become much easier to solve. It doesn’t mean the toxic people would simply evaporate, it is yourself knowing you could control the result of the incident, learn from it and plant flowers from this soil.

Questions to reflect
– What would I do if it is myself wanting to express negativity?
– How could I do better than this person to make the situation better?
– Are the comments really valid? Or they are only talking with no grounds? Out of their own stakes?
– Do I need to feedback at once? If not, better keep it peace and turn the negativity away by saying “Let’s give each other some space for thoughts.”

Instead of putting time to worry about how others think of you, pamper yourself with some beauty Me time!

Understood you could never make everyone happy, have the courage to stand for yourself

Only because you are leading them, they could see everything from your behind and try to attack. For successful and positive people, they won’t even have time to plan for bringing others down because all of their time are investing on the 80% that matters to their life, which are usually themselves, their family and loved ones.

Realizing leaders always lead, using groundbreaking methods and always extruding sunshine might not be for everyone’s appetite. The same goes with not everyone is a leader.

We are only human, including those toxic people, trying to live the best of life out of our own intention for creating betterment for ourselves and the people we care. As long as we do not do damage do others, there’s no fault to believe in yourself and holding up your own principle. Whatever the others are talking behind, or saying does not matter to you. They are only the 20% in life.

Questions to reflect
– Why do I need to make that person happy and sacrifice my own stance?
– Do you want to use 3-4 hours of your day thinking about this toxic incident? How could you better use your time instead?

Understood you could never make everyone happy, have the courage to stand for yourself

Only because you are leading them, they could see everything from your behind and try to attack. For successful and positive people, they won’t even have time to plan for bringing others down because all of their time are investing on the 80% that matters to their life, which are usually themselves, their family and loved ones.

Realizing leaders always lead, using groundbreaking methods and always extruding sunshine might not be for everyone’s appetite. The same goes with not everyone is a leader.

We are only human, including those toxic people, trying to live the best of life out of our own intention for creating betterment for ourselves and the people we care. As long as we do not do damage do others, there’s no fault to believe in yourself and holding up your own principle. Whatever the others are talking behind, or saying does not matter to you. They are only the 20% in life.

Questions to reflect
– Why do I need to make that person happy and sacrifice my own stance?
– Do you want to use 3-4 hours of your day thinking about this toxic incident? How could you better use your time instead?

Exercise Exercise Exercise! Dissolve the negativity with your positivity!

From all of my previous blog posts, I can’t stress enough the importance of exercising. It is accessible anywhere and everywhere, by yourself or with your partner, in any situation even you are pregnant like me.

Now that you might be inspired that not everyone could be as positive as yourself, or doing goodness for others or at least no harm, while it is easy to say but hard to completely ignore those negative people. What should we do once our mood is being affected?

A gentle yoga stretch could soothes your mood and bring calmness, a fierce boxing combat could vastly bump your endorphins to generate more happiness feeling in you. If you are not motivated to do anything above, a very slow walking of at least 7K to 10K steps per day randomly anywhere (shopping, into the park, getting a dessert by meeting a friend) can also give your body an energy boost.

In sum, we are unable to fully avoid toxic people. Earth might not be an utopia, but we could train our mind to be more positive and equip ourselves with the ability to stay strong. In the constant changing of world, what we could do is to understand we are unable to make everyone happy, holding your own stance and ensure your time is contributed to the right events.

Fight to protect your happiness hormone! 🙂

By Courtney

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